LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 1: Gased up and fueled by ignorance
**Before I started writing for this site, I used to do a editorial/commentary on various things in the world of Hip-Hop, and I’d like to extend that column to this website where it is more fitting.
I know I am about to sound like a big feminist when I say this – then I’m going to sound like a racist, or better let be labeled the “angry black woman” but before you be so quick to judge hear me out.
Now, once before, I heard the rumors that Polow the Don didn’t like black girls…but you know, I just dismissed the allegations with saying that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
But when I read the article of him on AllHipHop.com and saw what he said about black women, I was immediately outraged. This is what he had to say:
AllHipHop.com: Now, you call yourself the “King of All White Girls.” Elaborate on that for me.
Polow Da Don: Just the “King of the White Girls.†I ain’t self proclaimed but I run with it. [Laughs] There was a stage in my life where I went crazy with dating white women. I have nothing against black women, but they’re raised differently. White women are raised to respect and serve their men. Black women are taught to question [their men]. Black women look at submission as being weak. White women look at submission as being a woman. And anyone who has a problem with this statement is ignorant. Just look at the divine order; it goes man, woman, child.
… um… excuse me? Ain’t yo momma black? Then, aren’t you black? Again, I know this racisim is about to kick into factor but please note that I am far from it. It just pisses me off as a BLACK person first and a BLACK woman secondly to hear other BLACK MEN speak down to us when it is the BLACK WOMAN who supports your BLACK @$$ and deals with your BLACK SH*T and can relate to you as in what it means to be BLACK. Don’t try to play me (or us) because WE as BLACK WOMEN have gotten sick of tolerating your bullsh*t. Obviously, he just wants a “yes ma’am” or a “jellyback” broad – meaning anyone who can’t stand up for themselves and defend themselves out of fear for being left alone.
Black women, I applaud you and respect your gangsta demeanor. Take a stand. Say a couple of “hell no’s!” and question your man. If he’s your man, then that’s your divine right to question him. Relationships are 50 -50, and I don’t know what pre-woman’s suffrage area he’s living in but BLACK WOMAN faught hard for the rights that his momma have, his grandmomma have, and great grandmomma have. Then to say, “White women look at submission as being a woman.” Child boo. Being a woman is handling her business on her own. Being a woman is raising a family by herself. Being a woman is not being afraid to challenge those who “think” they have power (even if it’s the black man). And before I piss anybody else off, let me say this: Being a woman is not eagle scopin’ a ballin’ @$$ dude, laying up with up, poppin’ out babies, stay with him for a few years, and living comfortably off of that divorce settlement she’s getting. (look at the history of interracial marriages in the world of entertainment in comparison to the history of solid racial marriages). From a personal perspective, this irritates me. How can you lay up with a woman that would sleep with you and then lie and say she was raped, watch you get lynched, and/or beat? Who was washing the blood off yo back, buddy? It damn sure wasn’t her white @$$….
I don’t know about you all and how you all stand, but when I see prosperous black men saying such negative things like this about black women, hell yeah, I get offended. And sadly, we’re the ones dancing to his beats up in the damn clubs. *Tisk* – he just lost one!
Related Posts
- Lexilex WTF: Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear!
- Lexilex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 10: Snitches, b*tches, and Corny MOFOS!
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 9: Guess Who’s Bizack, Kanye’s rubbing off on 50, and a bunch of other hoopla!
- Lexilex Daily Soap Dish Vol 8: Um…what the damn!!!
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 7: Turn in your mic 50!
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 6: Kanye the CRY BABY!
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 5: NO GET OUT OF JAIL CARD FOR YOU!
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol. 4: Hollywood Divorce, Marriages, and Baby Carriages
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol 3: “Um. Whatever.”
- LexiLex’s Daily Soap Dish Vol 2.: What in the F!
Comment by Keone on 27 August 2007:
This is the epitome of the deconstruction of the African American family. Most black men don’t not understand a black womans strength. White women have been culturally farmed to be a submissive ideal. They where perceived as inequivalent to men and therefore were allowed only minor roles in the domestic sphere.
On the converse side of things African women were admired for their strength and courage and their abilities were for the most part wholly acknowledged and respected. That is why through out Africa’s earlier cultures of Africa women shared significant roles in the community from production and barter of goods to leadership position and even warfare.
I may be wrong for this, but i as far as i can recall, Alexander the great halted his planned invasion of Africa due to a FEMALE army, led by a queen and had the distinct reputation of never losing a single battle. It seems that black Men these days lack the ability to be humble. The European ideology of family is narcissistic in nature not permitting the woman to have a real influence.
Its an ugly and unfortunate climate that our society perpetuates, and our brothers are caught up in its blissfully ignorant rapture. Hopefully one day a clarity will ensue. But for now maybe some enlightened one will put five fingers across his face and tell him to wise up.
~Keone, editor @ nerdwithswag.com
Reply
Comment by Corey on 27 August 2007:
We should’t make blanket statements about all black men or black women. I am a black married to a black woman and I respect her strength and courage. When we make blanket statments like that we should preface them with “All the black women I know” Not to mention.
Secondly,
“Being a woman is raising a family by herself.”
I understand the point that you are trying to make, but a real woman would never strat a family with sorry man that is incapable or unwilling to be there for the family. Sorry men don’t just wake up one day sorry. They been that way for awhile. So you should not compare black woman to women in this respect because raising a family by yourself, is partly a product of choice. FYI – black women are not the only women raising kids by themselves. You sound kind of ignorant, “All the Black men I know” are raising their children. So maybe you and Polow Da Don need to get out of the hood and meet some other black folks and stop buying into racial stereotypes. Both of you sound ignorant and uninformed.
It’s really a shame when to damn fools start talking, both of you are making us look bad.
Ya’ll need Jesus
Reply
Comment by Craig on 27 August 2007:
Everybody’s on one of two extremes…I think a solution to a lot of the issues in Black culture have to do with balance (or a lack thereof). When you have two divisions pitted against each other, you’re never going to have peace or understanding until all opposing parties come to a common ground. Black Men vs. Black Women, Educated vs. Ignorant, Affluent vs. Hood, etc. Fighting fire with fire is only gonna lead to ashes. There needs to be more compromise and empathy involved whenever there is a split in perspective on things.
I agree with Corey to a degree: Being a woman does not equal raising a family all by herself. That’s being a victim of circumstance and persevering through it. Any human being can do that, black, white, man, woman, child, adult. Because I wasn’t raised AS a woman (although I was raise BY my mother), I can’t say what being a woman is with 100% complete confidence, but I will say that saying a couple of “hell no’s” won’t necessarily make you more of a woman, especially not if those “hell no’s” are misplaced. That’s like saying ‘trying to convince a girl to have sex with you makes you more of a man’, or something.
Also, you mentioned how “prosperous black men” are dissing the sistas. Well then…what about the not-so-prosperous black men that are actually treating women right? You know, the ones that never get these sistas because of their non-prosperous status, but are always in high demand based on their outlook and behavior (apparently)??? I mean, everybody can’t be Polow the whats-his-face, but there are hard-working, good brothas out there trying to win the affection of women just like you, Lexilex. At least don’t group us with the Pimp C’s of the world.
…And I don’t have to backtrack because I love black women.
Reply
Comment by LexiLex on 27 August 2007:
This comment goes straight to Corey:
Who said that I was from the ‘hood’? You might have a point saying that not all single mothers are black but a vase majority of them are, don’t believe me, look at the cultures of other ethnicities. I said that statement because of the fact that black women are strong and courageous enough to go to school, go to work, stay active in their children’s lives and still are capable of doing something for themselves in addition to others. Black women have done more than their fair of share for trying to make up for the lack or thereof presence of the black man. I’ve watched so many black women step up their game – often, becoming women before their time, because of their demanding roles as being the “black womanâ€. The black woman has been the leading force behind so many prominent black men, the success of the black family, and the black community. Without the black woman, where would the black man be? We as black women have bitten the bullet oh so many times for the sake of the black man, supporting him, setting aside our dreams, priorities, and most of all dignity for the love of the black man and this is how you repay us? You chastise us for speaking our mind? You downplay us for questioning the authority of others? You get upset because we are independent and are capable of taking care of ourselves and others? What a slap in the face to hear somebody say, some shit like that! Period! I don’t know about you but if it wasn’t for my mother, my grandmothers, my great grandmothers, and aunties, close friends of the family, etc. I don’t know where I’d be. Think about it… how many black women have help to support you throughout these years? I bet you you’d be able to name MORE than one. More so, as far as you saying, “a real woman would never strat a family with sorry man that is incapable or unwilling to be there for the family,†you know that’s some bullshit. Real women live up to their responsibly; little boys run and take on the responsibilities on because they have opt to handle theirs without the help of another. Who are you to say something like that? Sorry to inform you, but the reality of the matter is – most people are NOT getting married and are having kids secondly. There are MORE couples having babies first then deciding on marriage later then what YOU may think. Just because YOU are one in a few that have, doesn’t mean that those who haven’t aren’t ‘real women’. So YOU sound just as ignorant as Polow the Don. Give respect when it’s due and pay homage to that. Don’t downplay or downgrade your own. Accept it and Respect it for what it is- it is what it is.
Reply
Comment by videoblogger on 28 August 2007:
It’s and Issue that can only be resolved through time…..
Reply
Comment by Afrochick39 on 29 August 2007:
Keep up the good work LexiLex. This is one old head who is thankful that a youngun like you is keeping it real.
Reply
Comment by GennIsYs on 30 August 2007:
haha…well open ur eyes ..its true ..theres nothing wrong with being reaL……..And its true Im from the hood alot of my black girls…….. do become a lil races against white girls ….and i think thats pretty f ..Up ..
thats why we are who we are …not evey one of uss But its a 90% of our people that do wrong…and lil of us make something out of like
Reply
Comment by Corey on 31 August 2007:
Directly – LexiLex
I have plenty of respect for women that raise a family on thier own, my mother was one of those women. I would not be the man am today without the help, support, and prayers of my mother, wife, sister, and aunt’s. My mother raised four kids all by herself and managed to be involved in our lives. But the fact remains that our father was a bum and my mother made a mistake in deciding to have children witha a bum. Her life and ours was harded than it was supposed to be because of our father. So yers, In some respect you are correct. Balck women do deserve some props for doing that, but I will not ever teach my daughter to mary a bum, becuase I believe she strong enough to raise a family by herself. That is just plain retarded. I beleive my wife is more than capable enough raising our children without, hell she is part of the reason I am who I am today. Don’t make blanket staements about black men becuase because some fool namely ” Polow the Don” pushed your buttons. All black men are not like that. I am going to say it again most of the black I am associated with raise thier children. And no matter waht you say women should make better choices in the men they choose. Why would a man or woman decided to have children with someone they can’t depend to support that child for the next 20 plus years? do you think a repsonsible adult would do that? Would you teach your daughter to have children with a man that can not and would not support them? That’s my point, I love my mother but she was very irresponible, in regards to having children with a man that was not willing to help her raise them. She even admits. that. I understand that ” Polow the Don” pisses you off as he should. But, those comments you made were either born from anger or ignorance.
Corey
Reply
Comment by Corey on 31 August 2007:
To Lexilex – FYI – I am black my wife is black, my mother is black. I grew up in the hood. I just beleive in personal responsilbity. You can blame a man for not taking care of one child, but if you have two more children with a man that was not taking care of the first one. Do you really deserve props for cleaning up a situation that you partly caused? Last I checked there were female condoms, the pill and abstinence. Stop making babies with little boys and getting pissed off when they act like boys. It does not take a real woman to do that. I give props to all single moms that raised there kids on there own great. BUt to all the women that don’t have children make the right choice in fathers, don’t be a single mom. Let all those other women keeps those props it aint worth it. Pick the best man for regardless of color.
Reply
Comment by Stella on 1 September 2007:
White women don’t have to be strong because theiy live in a world that protects and values them. The White women does not fear for the safety of the men in her family like Black women do. She doesn’t worry about whether he will be killed either from the police or another Black man when hhe walks out the door. The White woman is not left and abandoned at the rate Black women are so again they don’t have to be strong. They have their men there to be strong for them. Black women want the burden lifted. We are tired of being the man and the woman- problem is few men, few brothas, want to be the man either.
Oh yeah, the font on this site is too dark. You can see your words as you write them
Reply